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    BAD MEDICINES

 

1. Forgivamycin: When used under the supervision of a priest clears the patient of all sins

     (or cins).

2. Pryagra: Enhances the patients ability to know things about his or her neighbors.

3. Kleptomycin: Reduces the urge to steal other people's property

4. Jingomycin: Transforms one's love of country in to a hollow shell of blatant self interest

5. Malapropalox: Reduces the inappropriate use of large words

6. Carnivoractone: Treatment for the disease of veganism

7. Hippomycin: Kills bacteria responsible for weight gain.

8. Rectocrainalox: Treatment for "head-up-ass" disease. (Prescribed extensively at the Bush

     Whitehouse to little effect.) Click for "Real" Rx Label

9. Bagelox: All purpose Jewish medicine

10. Megacrapawhinealox: Kills bacteria responsible for incessant whining

11. Pyrocillin: Kills the bacteria responsible for people spontaneously bursting into flames.

12. Cryptomycin: prescribed for people who say things that make absolutely no sense whatsoever

     (also used with little effect at the Bush White House).

13. Calibrex: Allows you to do simple math in your head. The cost of a bottle of 24 capsules is
     $39.95. If Johnny’s train is going 75 miles per hour and Billy’s train is going 65 miles per hour,
     how long will it take the space capsule carrying the entire Burkoon civilization to cross the
     vernal equinox?
See the correct answer submitted by Joe Wilson

 

  

© 2008 Mark Friedman